Who could ask for anything more?

How about a million dollars?

I'd settle for 150K so I can get this house.

Or 15K just to help with the down payment.

Money sucks.

Ok...so I'm kinda down this week. My life is just floating around somewhere in space with no thoughts or direction of landing anywhere. Luckily I have my teaching and volleyball and my family to keep me grounded once in a while. Thanks.

I got to thinking yesterday. My cousin and I were talking about kids picking on each other and it brought back a lot of memories of people picking on me while I was growing up because I was fat, shy and socially inept. Well, not much has changed since then. I'm a lot fatter, not always as shy, and a few more social skills than back then. Maybe that's why I never feel as though I fit in with anyone. I'm always afraid they see my faults and talk about me behind my back or will hurt me by talking in front of my back. That because I have these obvious faults, and other not so obvious ones, I'm not worthy of their kindness and attention or love. Wow, I never thought about that before in that way. How sad am I? blah. I hope that I can put it to my students that they should never make fun of any one for any reason. Because of how they look, or dress, or talk or anything. It's not what God wants us to do. Even if you don't like someone, there's no reason to be mean to them and put them down.

Like I said..I'm kinda down this week. Come back again, I'll be better...:)

The week is almost over

Although I don' t know if you can really call it PMS because it usually only happens the first day of my period, not really before hand. I just tend to over dramatize things. The new birth control I am on helps a lot with regulating things and keeps things from being too much, but the first day is still bad. Everything that kinda stresses me, drives me crazy, is about 100 times worse on that day. That also makes sense for the little gain I had too. I have all boys this year and while they can be a bit of a challenge, there are only 3 (or 4) of them and they are good boys.

We have a family leaving our school this week. 3 kids. Great kids, but compared to the academic norm, a bit on the slow side with some learning issues I believe. Their parents are going to take them out of our school, citing reasons that they need help with learning. Um...Hello?? Haven't we been telling you that for several years?? 2 of the kids were held back when they were younger....so why did it take you so long to finally realize that we actually know what we are talking about here? We are a small school, so we can get some good one on one time with our students, but we are not equipped with a special needs teacher. The public school is required to help even if they are at a Christian school. We have been telling the parents this for several years. If they had listened to us a couple of years ago, they could have gotten help and prevented problems as they get older. Their solution? They are going to go to a "virtual" school. Now, I don't know much about it, but I looked around their website a little bit and it seems to be a cross between homeschooling and going to school. Has anyone heard of this? What kind of reputation do they have? Now, I have nothing bad to say against this method, I don't know much about it and if it is successful, nor against this school. But knowing this family for several years and having 2 of their children in my class...I can't imagine that this is a good solution for them. Knowing the mother the way I do, I can't imagine how good she will be at teaching 3 children in her home and making sure they do what they need to do to learn. It just doesn't seem to be good for the children to learn in this kind of environment. I wish them luck, and pray God watches over them.

Weigh In

Ok, so I weighed in this morning on my mom's scale. It's different from the last scale I used, but I'm not surprised by the results. 254. Up a little from my original weigh in last week. I had some activity in (yay) but some not too good food and bad portion control. It seems when its time to eat, rational thoughts go out the window sometimes. *sigh* For Halloween, I'm going to buy a costume in the size I am just starting to fit into. Not sure if it'll fit well or not, but if I get it, then I have something to work towards so that it'll fit good for Halloween.

Wordless Wednesday

Thanks to Jen, I now can post pictures (although now I feel dumb for not figuring it out myself). Here is a picture of my baby. :)

Bitter-sweet weekend

My weekend really flew by! Some of it was good, some of it was bad/scary.

Friday night...we had a bit of a scare with my dad. He was drifting in and out of consciousness in the middle of conversations. he said it didn't feel like sleep..mom is wondering if he was going unconscious. He's been sick a very long time, but the last month has been the worst. He's only been out of bed twice since before Labor day weekend, and he can't even really sit up anymore, he just gets so out of breath, he can't do it.

Saturday night...my old church started a bowling league every other saturday night and it started this weekend. What a blast! We had so much fun! I didn't bowl very well, but I had fun anyway! (with the help of friends, beer and goldschlager!)

Sunday was busy with family visiting! My grandma is in town so my uncle and his girlfriend, my cousin Jen and her daughter came over for Aurelio's pizza! After they left, my mom's cousin also came over for awhile even though we were pooped, it was good to see her as well!

The week is going to busy with another busy weekend ahead already! Our first volleyball game and my church is having a Fall Festival! Busy, busy, busy....makes the time go by too quickly.

Starting over

I just had an interesting conversation with one of the sweetest women I have ever met. She is involved with our school, her kids go here and she helps with the lunches every day. She is also one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. Blond and likes to make sure she looks good, but never over does it, nor has an attitude of acting like she's "all that". All her kids are very sweet and polite and great kids! They are a definite addition to our school and we wouldn't be the same without her and them. Unfortunately, she just finished going through a divorce with her husband of many years. I don't know much about him, but from what I heard, he's an ok guy, but doesn't deserve someone like her. He has his problems and another girlfriend and that just doesn't work when you are married to someone else. I hope that what I said had a positive effect on her and I pray God stays with her and her with God throughout this difficult time.

The fat teacher

In our Jesus time lesson this morning, we talked about the different kinds of people that Jesus loves...tall, short, dark, light, etc. I asked about fat people, and a boy said no. I was shocked! Wasn't my lesson getting through that God loves all of us, no matter our size or shape? I asked him why? and he said it was because we ate junk. I said well, that can be true, but just because we eat junk, doesn't mean we are not loved by God. God doesn't look at the outside, only the inside. If only people could do the same thing? I guess that's why I get so shy around people. It shouldn't matter what is on the outside, but so many people disagree with me and I am so hard on myself about what I look like on the outside that I am afraid to hear it from other people.

I haven't stepped on a scale in a couple weeks. My weight at that time was 252.1 and that is what I am going to start with. I have another blog that I'm doing to use next time that gives daily or almost daily progress reports. For today, I'm going to keep drinking my water and coach volleyball after school to get some activity.

Little boys and toilets

I have this one little guy...he's in Kindergarten, and thanks to his genes, he's just a little guy, adorable, polite and fun to have in class. Well, he has gotten in the habit of talking (to me) while he is in the bathroom. Yesterday we had a problem with someone not making it into the toilet and he told me so while he was in there. I told them, if we can't make it in the toilet, then I was going to start going in there with them to make sure they did it right. Well, today, he goes in there and proceeds to yell at me again:

K: Miss Krause! someone peed on the side of the toilet again!

Me: Boys, we need to make sure we get it into the toilet, or watch out for messes and clean them up.

Other boys: I didn't do it! I didn't do it!

Me: well, someone did, but we need to make sure we watch what we are doing, or I will start going in with you.

K (still in bathroom): you don't have to go in with me, Miss Krause! I make sure it all goes in!

I couldn't help but chuckle at this little voice coming from the bathroom to make sure no one would go in with him because he does it right...*L*

The weekend

My weekend has been ok. Lots on my mind this weekend..more than usual. I have to tell a friend something that is not going to make her happy, and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm a people pleaser. I don't like to make waves, I don't like to hurt people, even the tiniest bit (on purpose anyway..sometimes it happens when I don't realize it). I know, I sound like a wuss and I need more backbone and need to stop worrying about it. It's something that I need to do, but I need to find the courage to do it

TGIF?

well, it's been an interesting day. First of all, I didn't have school today due to a funeral at my church. Normally, we don't close school for a funeral but it was someone who most of the faculty and staff knew and so we decided to close school for the day. It wasn't someone I knew so I decided not to go.

I made an appointment to get my car fixed and look at a house. Got to talk to my dad a bit and things just doesn't seem to be good with him. He's been getting things in order and mom thinks that he may not make it too much longer. He's had bad spells before and come out of them...which he may come back or may not. I don't know. No one knows. So, once again, I'm ready to try and make some sense out of my life, but things just keep getting uprooted again. With God, all things are possible and I'm gonna run with that.

Thursday Quote

The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
--Psalm 34:17

You know it's gonna be a bad morning....

When you eat a row of chocolate chip cookies for breakfast on the way to school....

For the second year in a row, I have a Kindergartner freaked out about nap/quiet time. And I don't mean just "I don't wanna lay down, I wanna play" I mean, freaked out about it. I think the second day he was here, he fell asleep, and for some reason, he is afraid he is going to fall asleep in school. In fact, I talked to him mom this morning and he was crying, not wanting to go to school because he didn't want to take a nap. Now, I do not force my kids to sleep, but it is merely a quiet time to relax for a bit before going on with our afternoon. Especially in the beginning, a whole day at school is a long day and it's a time to chill out for a while. They are only about 20 minutes long, 30 at the most if i notice someone fell asleep, then we get up...and goes until about December. Last year I had a girl totally freaked out about nap time. Granted, there were a few other problems with the family too, but she was totally freaked out..she would end up in great sobbing fits about it and we found an alternative for her. I have only been teaching a couple years, but this is something that totally mystifies me. We talked to the boy today and hopefully he will relax about quiet time.

The weekend

It's almost as if I spent the weekend at a spa. The weather has been perfect, no place to go, nothing to do. I spent the weekend getting some cleaning and organizing done, lesson plans, helped mom with trying to get the old dishwasher out and the new one in...plenty to do, but I was able to do it at my own pace and get stuff done. I've been a bit sick this weekend, but not too bad...little cough, little fatigue, little sniffling...but nothing big.

I am ready for the week. Volleyball practice 3 days this week, meeting on the 4th day and then Friday and another weekend :) Oh, yeah, and some teaching in there too.

Anyone want to buy a clarinet? It's slightly used, but it's in pretty good condition. There's also a beginners book to go along with it. Let me know.

Rain, rain, don't go away

I do enjoy a good rainy day, especially when you just aren't in the mood for a bright, sunny day.

It's been a long week. In some ways good, in some ways not so good. I'm coming off a wonderful weekend with Roo and having to get back to reality. Had a great Cubs game on Wednesday, but the second day of a late night and not enough sleep. Now, I'm getting sick. I'm glad that it is the weekend and I don't have to do much teaching while I'm sick.

I seem to be full of complaints this week, and I guess it's just a hard week. I need to remember that there are many things that I've been gifted with and remember those when things get bad.

Agenda: Have a good weekend

Thursday Quote

“Teachers teach more by what they are than by what they say.”


I think this applies to anyone who has children, or is a role model to children. Children, like adults, can pick up much more on the non verbal cues about a person than what they talk about face to face.

Lost

Is there any way to get back?

Who knew being an adult would be so darn hard?

I have no home right now, job security is almost nil, good friends and family that I rarely ever see, carrying 140 extra pounds around on my 5'4" frame, addicted to food, stressed out, a man I love that I rarely ever see and some days I don't know if he wants me to stay or go, very little money in the bank and student loans that will never be paid off, a sick father who hasn't been able to get out of bed in about the last week or so and a stressed out mother who is taking care of him. Volleyball is starting soon, so we can add that to the plate as well.

And I'm supposed to come to school with a smile on my face so my angels have no idea what is going on so they can be happy and learn?

Sunny Florida

It is everything I was hoping it would be at the beginning of September...hot, sunny and humid! It's almost like our winter...it's just too miserable to go out anywhere...*L* But Roo and I have gone out...we went to Lion County Safari yesterday and it was awesome! It's this place where you drive around and see animals in natural habitats. We saw ostriches, lions, elephants, chimpanzees, impala, zebras...to name a few. I even got to feed a giraffe! If I ever learn how to put pictures up here, I will definitely have to post that one! On the way home we stopped off at some of Roo's friend's houses for short visits and tasted a mango drink for the first time.

Today we went to church and hung around the house a bit, watching a movie. This evening, we went to the beach where the water was sooo warm, it was great! In fact, the air was actually cooler than the water and by the time we got out it was dark and a little chilly even until I dried off.

Tomorrow, I'm not sure what is on the agenda, but I know it will be good..maybe even the beach again or a movie. I will be heading back to Chicago around 8:30 pm, Florida time so I will definitely NOT have a good day on Tuesday in school...;)